SoulDarkness's Xanga

The times, they go so fast...

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 14:09:44 GMT

So I've been doing some reevaluating as of late and I've come to a conclusion on it. STOP. It essentially has done me no good, because it causes me to doubt my abilities and my actions. I've always said, "You're as prepared as you can be. No need to worry." I need to start doing that more. I keep getting in these situations where I sit and contemplate if I really can do the things I want to. I sit and wonder if I really am prepared. That isn't me. I think it was a good thing our battery died yesterday while we were shopping. The automotive center was too busy to do it for us before they closed, but I was free to borrow their tools. (Besides, changing a battery isn't exactly hard, or medium difficulty for that matter.) I suppose when I got to it, it reminded me that I can handle these things. I have the tools before me to get these things, I just need to utilize them. I have all these people in my life and I don't have the ability to thank them all. The people who I've not seen in a while I miss, and the ones who I have seen I'd like to hang out with. I 'm thankful even for xanga, as much as I seem to disagree with it as of late. Who knows, maybe it is just another virtual thinking pad. Someplace I can arrange thoughts and hope they fit together.

On to other things. I need to shorten my presentation it seems, as I am a bit over prepared. The people who will be reviewing my submission only have so much time. I also need to get the last bits done. I need a few pages and then I'll color and send them. Not bad progress, and then I'll hear what they think. Anyway, if anyone is interested in seeing the progress thus far, let me know. I'll throw out this initial sneak peek.

In other news (Last bit I swear.) my new spikes are amazing. I now know why the center plate is so important. I've been "making due" with mid-distance spikes and that was so wrong. The weight, shape, and build of this spike is so much more conducive to jumping. Anyway, the goal is to be in London in 2012. I'm not taking my eyes off that goal. Anyway, I'll wrap this up by saying later all.

One.

Important Lesson

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:54:36 GMT

There was a quote I found appropriate for the current scenario. I also thought it would be a good quote to use in life. Maybe it can give a bit of insight into me, because it was something that stuck out as soon as I saw it.

Those who know do not talk.
Those who talk do not know.

-Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

We are who we are. If I think that I have faults or someone confronts me about an issue with me, I don't talk about it. I take action and fix it. I am going to be the best person I possibly can and constructive critism is a part of that process. If I feel like I've wronged people or created any form of hostility between anyone, I won't sit and talk. I need to take action and know that I am responsible. It may be up to me to help the situation, so I will do everything in my power to help it. Maybe it's because I grew up without a lot of friends. It might be due to the location I grew up in. I don't really know. I do know that I want the best for everyone I come into contact with. If there is a way for me to facilitate that, I will. I don't do a lot of talking because I want to be that someone. As the old cliche goes; "Talk is cheap."

I will say, if I don't know what my next action is I will talk my way through it with someone. Particularly those involved. I don't want to leave anyone wondering. I do feel that closure and knowing the "why" of it is owed. So I won't just silently fade anyone out. I feel that you all are too important for that. And perhaps I may help your future friendships and relationships. Don't take that as me inflating my importance or any grandiose delusions there. I just felt that my intentions needed to be stated, as opposed to assumed. You know what they say about assumptions.

Lastly, C.U.C. is driving me nuts, but I love the stimulation and hope the results pan out. (MindFlurry ftw!)

C.U.C.

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 15:22:26 GMT

Have you ever gotten to that point where you can see things aligning along some form of invisible fulcrum. I could honestly swear I see that point coming. Things have been all kinds of crazy, and yet I see a bit of clarity due to it. There are certain elements I'm glad that I was exposed to. They helped me see the kinds of people I want to associate with. As well as those I don't want to be associated with. I feel motivated and creative and I see this positive attitude coming about. It seems almost contagious, as it seems to even spread out into people I see everyday on the bus, or that I work with.

The other part of this clarity is seeing and missing people that I am really close to, or use to be. We all lead our lives and I sit and think about how much I wish to be a part of it. So from now on I am going to try and be more involved. I am motivated to act on my convictions and let myself be seen. It might mean doing some things that people might not agree with, but it is the choice I'm making. I feel that if I don't at least try, I won't set a good enough example for my daughter, my wife, my brothers, or my sisters. So here is to moving and working on what I feel.

Lastly, I am so very thankful for the core group around me. Without you all, I don't think I'd be as grounded as I am now. I wouldn't be so motivated to do things and get these ideas out there. The very title of this entry is a part of that. Only one person knows what it means right now. That's okay though. I intend to let everyone know soon enough and I hope it works out. It's not set in stone, but I like it nonetheless.

"I want to show you something you've seen before, and still wow you with my rendition. Maybe it's new, maybe it's borrowed, but damn if it ain't cool."

Don't look at me that way, I play with my baby girl :p

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 17:04:32 GMT

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 15:23:44 GMT

Screw you Barry Bonds. That record isn't yours and I shall never look to as a leader in anything except how to juice and get away with it. I pray your record is stripped from you in short order.

Photo's for reference.

Barry Bonds

Tell me that's a natural progression....

In the words of the almight sage...

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 09:56:01 GMT

I need to update this more often. Life has a funny way of ruining that though :p

Anyway, to the topic at hand.

Buh?

Life's little discoveries...

Wed, 02 May 2007 18:44:44 GMT

Well how is everyone today? Not too bad here besides an injured ankle.

So life has been interesting as of late. Watching Alejandra's development is a good way of seeing the developmental stages we go through physically and mentally. For instance, she has been self-aware for a good while now, and so she knows that people can leave and come back. This creates the situation in which she clings to comfort sources when they are returned to her. Like hugging her mother and not letting go.

The second "process" that intrigues me is learning locomotion. Alejandra knows that she wants it and is going to get it one way or another. So if there is a toy on the edge of the bed and she is at the head of the bed, she will wiggle to her stomach from sitting and crawl to get it. It's kind of funny to see her flop over like that. Lastly is the issue of "cruising". That is some heart stopping stuff....... Watching her hold on to the couch and walk to the other end while wobbling is a bit scary. Overall she provides an interesting look at the human experiences sans moral hang ups (as she has yet to grasp the concept of right/wrong. Just what she's told.)

In other news, I have a new cellphone. It is still at (816)309-0480 so feel free to call or look out for me calling you. Anyway, I'm going to get back to hanging out with the family. Much love.

One.

Mi Angelita

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 23:48:29 GMT

What? I promised I would get some up here....

One.

Nappy Headed Hoes and other Random Varieties...

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 14:43:37 GMT

Hola y Como Estan mis amigos?

So it has been an interesting few days. I haven't been able to really relax or anything the past few weeks because for some reason they keep splitting my days off (ie. this weeks Monday and Saturday off >.>) No me encanta eso.

In other news of things I don't like. One would be the large mob after Don Imus right now, but Don...you made that bed, its only right you sleep in it. To those of you that don't know. The title of my post was influenced by a comment of his on the air. "Those are some nappy headed hoes...Those are some ghetto looking hoes right there." (Referring to the Rutgers Women's Basketball team) Stupid things get you in trouble, and he's gotta deal with that right now. Hope he learns from this experience that comments like that ARE'NT funny. Ever.

Lastly, I'm sorry I missed all those that I did. We should try and keep in contact so that I may better coordinate meeting people and hanging out. I know I've been rather "silent" lately but that should change soon as I will be internet enabled once again. Anyway, I'm gonna run back up and watch the empty restaurant that I work in. Maybe you all might come in one of these days and have a BBQ Prime Rib sandwich? Please :p Joking, but I'll see you all sooner or later. Much Love.

One.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 14:31:53 GMT

So how is everyone? It seems all the members of the house of Simpson had to go and get sick :p I personally am feeling a bit better. Can't say the same for the other two. (Also, don't ask about the title up there, I just put it there cause the guy I'm talking to at work said that I should. *Yay Peer Pressure!!*)

Now it occurs to me that I have not heard from you all in a little while, so I shall have to take care of that soon. Besides, at least one of you all know where I live :p Anyway, hope all is well with you all. Much love.

One.